Comments on: What does a man have to do to get a beer around here?

By: Siobhan

Siobhan — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 22:20:37 +0000

I’m not one to draw attention to myself, but every time I talk, I invariably attract gazes from 40 feet away, even the cats stop and stare. I have decided to make myself a t-shirt that reads: “No, I’m not from Ireland” to stop the barrage of sighing and saying “no, Scotland.” I wish I could imitate it much better.

It’s a pain in the arse having to repeat yourself, isn’t it?

By: LadyPeugeot

LadyPeugeot — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 02:45:11 +0000

Expat Mum’s comment on the voice-recognition thing really got me! I hate those bloody things! Normally I come across them trying to call my health insurance company. So one, I’m annoyed anyway as I always am when I am dealing with any health-insurance issues here, two I know I’m in for it.
I always end up exaggerating my “zees” and putting on the crappest twangy accent to get the message across. Still I’m met with “I’m sorry – I didn’t quite get that. Can you repeat…”

By: Josephine

Josephine — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 20:00:05 +0000

Just be thankful you didn’t ask for a cup of Rosie Lee, that would have thoroughly confused ‘em….

By: Expat Mum

Expat Mum — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 03:40:36 +0000

Most people get fat when they come to the USA, but we expats who can’t be understand are just wasting away.

By: MikeH

MikeH — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 21:35:50 +0000

I find when I try to order “a half a pint” in a pub, my American accent translates that to “I’ll have a pint” – but really, that’s not such a bad thing.

By: gabi

gabi — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 19:41:51 +0000

While perusing a particularly terrible boyfriend’s music collection in college, I came across some Sade CDs. Did you know the US releases had “Sade (Shar-day)” – or something like it – on the spines to help Americans pronounce her name properly. I was rolling on the floor over that one, not least because I was dating someone who owned a Sade album.

By: Esther

Esther — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 16:06:31 +0000

I had to resort to miming the act of giving birth and then holding the baby to the receptionist at a hospital recently while trying to visit my friend. Apparently I butcher the word ‘maternity’!

And I no longer ask for water anymore – it never fails to elicit a blank look from whoever I’m talking to. Now I always ask for ‘wadda’.

By: Alasdair

Alasdair — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 02:08:18 +0000

Silly expats !

If you want to sound like a native-born American, either a) get a VERY bad cold which clogs both nostrils simultaneously or b) hold your nose shut while repeating the exact same words …

The result tends to be instant recognition and understanding of your words, followed a few seconds later by divers levels of irritation cuz you are obviously making fun of the poor innocent American who could not understand you the first time or three – until you repeated the words with nostrils blocked …

Over the phone, they will be less offended, unless you tell them how you suddenly became audibly understandable … I’m Scots, so I try not to lie … well, not directly, anyway … I’ve found it effective to answer “I just had to re-align my nostrils” … apparently that sounds sufficiently scientific and (believe it or not) anatomically-plausible …

Then there’s the always-favourite conversation/skit … to be seen/heard/visualised with a smile …

American: You have an accent ! Where are you from ?

Me: I don’t have an accent. *You* do !

American: No, I don’t ! *You* do ! So – where are you from ?

Me: (At this point, playing along, accepting the minor karmic drain) I’m from Glendale.

This can lead in many directions … a favourite one is

American: Where is Glendale ?

Me: (slightly more karmic drain) You know Los Angeles ? (American nods) Los Angeles is a suburb of Glendale.

American: (CPU pegged for a few seconds) But your accent doesn’t sound like one from Glendale.

Me: I don’t have an accent. *You* do.

The intelligent American (and both of you know who you are) will ask “Where are you from originally ?” – at which point I reply that I am originally from Scotland …

Oh – the conversation is even funnier when I am wearing my kilt …

By: Expatmum

Expatmum — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 00:24:53 +0000

As long as you don’t ask for LAGER. That really throws them. I have a half written post somewhere about the trouble you face as a Brit with the bloody voice recognition customer service phone calls these days. I usually give up half way through. Mainly because my kids are wetting themselves listening to me trying to say all the responses with an exaggerated twang.