I’ve made two horrific discoveries today*. Discoveries that make me question my very existence, and look at myself in a new, and not wholly palatable, light.
1. I read a blog today which mentioned a visit to Home Depot, shortly after I’d taken delivery of an order of stationery from Office Depot. On both occasions, I internally pronounced the word to myself as “dee-po” rather than “depp-oh”. I had to wash my mouth out with soap and water for ten minutes shortly afterwards, obviously.
2. After more than a year of ignorance, I picked up a copy of Sports Illustrated today, and pretty much understood the basic implications of every story within its pages. And it wasn’t even the swimsuit edition. College sport was happily still beyond me, but other than that I almost felt like a natural. You’ll be pleased to know that I have forced myself to watch scoreless draws between Grimsby and Shrewsbury on repeat ever since, and now feel fully reacclimatised.
* Certainly, far more horrific than discovering that David Blaine is a big ol’ cheat.