The love of the game

If I was still living in the UK, I’d be squashed up in the back of a cab right now with The Best Man, The Beancounter and Sickly Child on the way to Luton to catch a flight to Moscow. A flight containing two hundred already drunk slightly overweight men gently sweating nicotine and harassing flight attendants. On arrival, I’d be questioned at length about my right to be in the country before being herded onto a poky Russian bus. I’d then be forced into a segregated compound for hours on end, denied the right to drink even a watery beer, and have to spend an age queuing for the right to relieve myself in a excrement smeared portaloo. After around three hours of bowel-clenchingly unbearable tension, I’d be manhandled back onto a bus, back to the airport, and onto a plane with two hundred practically feral men. Part way through the four hour flight, I’d celebrate my 36th hour without sleep by removing the beer belly of a slobbering electrician from Billericay from my arm rest. Once back at Luton, I’d have to endure a three hour journey across London in rush hour traffic just for the right to fall back into my bed.

Oh, and I’d have paid £750 for the whole privilege.

Strangely, I’d pay twice that much to be in the back of that cab now.

Football – it’s a funny old game.

7 thoughts on “The love of the game

  1. Sarah

    The year they did the treble, I went to the FA Cup Final which was awesome. But when they came home for the parade, I drove 4 hours (due to traffic) from Watford to Stoke on Trent and then had to dump my car because some twat had overturned a lorry and the M6 was blocked. So then I caught a train into Manc’, spent 2 hours sprinting around the streets to get the best viewpoints along the route. Then I climbed back on a train, with an upset stomach and had to deal with ‘the drizzlings’ and a BR loo back to Stoke. Then had to hitch a lift back to my car and drive home to Watford down the M40 in the most horrendous floods and rain. Stopped for a quick kip I was so exhausted at 2am still on the M40. Made it home, got 2 hrs sleep and then went to work – BUT IT WAS WORTH EVERY SECOND 🙂

    I’d have been right with ya on that plane Dylan!

  2. Jan

    I know I’m showing my age, but what the hell, I’m over the bloody moon for the lads.

    But I remember going to Old Trafford when Georgie Best, Bobby Charlton, and Dennis Law were on the team. Not that I’m complaining about the new lot. 🙂

  3. Best Man

    It would have been fantastic to have you wedged in with us fella. Next time – which I’m sure will be in less than nine years this time!


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *