Reality bites

I’ve been an avid follower of CSI: Miami for about three years now. However bad an actor David Caruso is, I practically live for the moments when Horatio Caine takes off his glasses and tells Frank that it’s murder.

I’ve now been in Miami for three days, and not once have I been shot at. There’s been no attempted murder, and I’ve not even been in the vicinity of a drive-by. I admittedly saw a Miami-Dade police car, but I think that had more to do with a John McCain fundraiser in my hotel, than any Emily Procter-led investigation.

Miami is known for two things – crime scene investigations, and dolphins. I’ve seen neither since I’ve been here. I’m thinking of suing under the trade descriptions act.

13 thoughts on “Reality bites

  1. Sarah

    Funny! David Caruso IS a bad actor. Ever notice how he says a line and then just walks away? The other person can’t even get a word in!

  2. Karen

    I cannot stand that show, or Horatio. Did he cast a spell over the world or something? I swear everyone I know back in Ireland LOVES him!
    Enjoy your stay, may you continue to avoid the bullets.

  3. Brooklyn

    There’s a “Law and Order” in which Lennie Brisco (Jerry Orbach) responds to a comment from a CSU (Crime Scene Unit) tech at a murder crime scene as to the possible identity of the “perp” by saying to the other NYPD detective on the scene “They think they’re detectives now.” This has been interpreted as a knock on the CSI’s.

  4. Paul Sheffrin

    I love the way David Caruso puts the stress on the wrong WORD as if, by so doing, everything will MAKE sense. Also the way he addresses his staff by their titles and surname. But does this make him a bad actor or is it the character he has developed? I’ve never seen him in anything else. Incidentally, Dylan, my experience of living in North America tells me that companies here wouldn’t know a Trades Description Act if it jumped up and bit them on the nose.

  5. Gabrielle

    Paul is right – we’ve never heard of a Trades Description! However, your point is taken – and Miami has cleaned up it’s act a bit but it’s still got a rough edge to it. LOTS of drugs and illegals, but it is a really pretty city. And CSI:Miami is the hammiest of them all by far; I feel like it’s the parody of the series. Even they have to laugh at how ridiculously outrageous it is. Don’t they??

  6. Brooklyn

    Would “false advertising laws” be the US equivalent of the Trades Descriptions Act? I for one assumed that’s what Dylan meant.

  7. Dylan

    You’re basically right, Brooklyn – it’s selling something that doesn’t do what you say it does…and the fact that I haven’t seen a cadaver, or been hit by a thrice-deflected bullet, is a clear sign that Miami is guilty as charged.

    CSI: Miami is my guilty pleasure – is that so wrong?! So bad it’s good…

  8. Karen

    I saw David Caruso in Rambo the other night, he was very young and not as hammy. He was still a bad actor though 😉

    Nothing wrong with guilty pleasures. I am currently watching Bones, which isn’t great, but hey, not everything can be like The Wire.

  9. Jan

    David Caruso is a complete ham, either that or he’s taking the piss. I lean towards the former. Have you noticed how he repeats his word all the time, is that to give them more weight? Ha!

    And Emily Proctor’s voice gets on my tits.

    And Alex always has to bend over bodies sooooo provocatively so’s everyone can get a good view of her arse, whilest dangling her hair and other parts of her anatomy over the corpse.

    And as for monkeyman, and Mr. Wolf… I really don’t know why I watch it.

  10. Laura Thomas

    OMG – David Caruso. The ‘Publican (my husband) and I used to watch this obsessively. He is, bar none, one of the worst actors ever – who still works so regularly.

    Here’s an LA note – The Spawn (aka my 24-year-old son) works for the coffee catering company that services the CSI Miami cast and crew – here at the Raleigh Studios in Manhattan Beach, CALIFORNIA. Yep, that’s right – we don’t need no stinking Miami!

    The Spawn tells me that Caruso has never gotten out of his air conditioned trailer to get his own drink – after all, he’s got “people” (personal assistants) to do that for him. He has met, however, Adam Rodriguez and the guy that we call Chachi (from Joanie and Chachi fame… post-Happy Days) – or “Mr. Wolf” to Horatio.

    The Spawn doesn’t even watch the show because I wanted to know if he’d met Emily Proctor – his comment, “oh, I’ve only seen her tits on the internet” –

    Yes, that’s my boy!

    Anyway – this just tickled me.

    ~Laura (aka Zental Floss)

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