Extreme noise terror

For quite some time now, London Underground have been piping classical music into the concourse areas of stations such as Brixton and Vauxhall in an attempt to discourage teenage gangs, beggars and general ne’er-do-wells from loitering there. I’ve no idea if it actually works, although it’s at least vaguely soothing for the hundreds of commuters who’ve spent the last twenty minutes silently seething with resentment after being stuck in a tunnel a few yards outside Pimlico station.

Last night at Secaucus station in New Jersey, I experienced the American equivalent. A sound to strike fear into the hearts of grown men, and drive crack dealers onto the streets. Music designed specifically to be uncomfortable and make you want to move out of the area as quickly as possible.

Hard to describe Badfinger as classical, admittedly, but it was certainly enough to get me hurtling out onto the freezing cold New Jersey streets with indecent haste. Rumours that their music appears on the forthcoming album “Noise Warfare: 20 Guantanamo Bay Classics” could not be confirmed at time of going to press.

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