Given most people’s view of the current president, it’s probably rare that any blog posting would feature the words ‘American’, ‘politician’ and ‘refreshing honesty’. But then it seems that Brooklyn city councilman Simcha Felder isn’t your average politician.
Sidestepping the key issues that face Brooklyn residents such as healthcare, education, taxation and housing, Felder has decided to wage war on pigeons. Apparently there is an excess of pigeon droppings at numerous D, F and J subway stations, with piles of bird crap reaching up to six inches in height (please never introduce me to the saddo measuring this stuff). Apparently the key to the problem is to appoint a “pigeon czar”, who will handle all pigeon-related complaints and impose a $1000 fine on anyone caught feeding the flying rodents.
It’s not Felder’s pigeon policy that should be commended though – it’s his approach to soundbites. Seeking to ward off opposition to his proposals, he commented:
“There should be no one allowed to feed pigeons. If people like pigeons, take them into their homes, feed pigeons in your house and let them crap all over the place in your living rooms.”
If I was a betting man (and I am), I’d guess that Simcha Felder was dumped on by a pigeon when he was on a date with Gisele Bundchen, and the supermodel hasn’t given him a second glance since. And if the pigeon union get wind of his evil plan, the air assault will only get worse before it gets better…